My family is the most important to me, and I spend most of my time with them. I dont have a girl friend, and dont really feel the need for it.
There are times though, when I am by myself, alone, and feel an unexplainable loneliness. At that time, I want to run away from my family, but dont know to whom/where. I want to be alone, but then feel very lonely. During such time, even my otherwise faithful PC ditches me, and fails to make me happy. I am englufed in a cloud of darkness, a solitude, which I fail to explain to myself. All logic fails, all hell breaks loose, and I feel a crushing weight over myself. I dont even like talking to any of my friends then, I just shut myself up in my room, and play some soft music. Yes, music does not ditch me then!
This inexplicable madness occurs frequently nowadays. Does it happen with me only? Sometimes I think it is only because I dont have a girl friend, but I am sure even people with girl friends must have felt this at times. To make myself clear, let me add that it is not the reason of something bad at work, some fight with someone, or anything bad. It happens all of a sudden, out of a blue moon.
This has brought me to a realization, that whoever we are, whatever we do, however happy we may be, there is a moment of desperation, sadness, pain, loneliness, which appears illogical and is unexplainable, every now and then. The result of such a thing is still unclear though. Most of the times I just keep thinking, staring blankly, or humming along with the music. Then mom calls me for something, or some other work pops up, and I get on with it. Maybe its the time when we connect to God, or a time for introspection, whatever it is, it is strange, vague, and unexplainable.